Hal, my brother
Hal, with me (Judy), our Mother and sister Toni peeping thru the fish, Fairfield Manor, Shreveport, LA, 1954
I did not know Hal Wilson the real estate agent, ever buy a house from him, or attend any of the classes that he taught on so many different subjects. And there were a few years when I didn’t see him at all — years when our lives were lived out in separate places — both literally and philosophically: I in CA; he in TN — I as a vagabond hippie lefty; he as a business minded, family-man conservative.
But he was a deeply woven part of my life since my birth, and if our paths branched away sometimes as adults, he remained for me some ineluctable essence of amazement and admiration and ultimately, inspiration – Hal, my brother, a near blur of energy, always moving fast into some fresh whirl of motion borne on a great new idea, business deal, conversation, plan, goal, hope, dream. Even in recent years, after the cancer diagnosis, his daily calendar astounded, beginning as it did at some horrifyingly early hour (we once shared a preference for late nights and sleeping in; still my preference) . . . and more often than not proceeding all the way thru evening and sometimes beyond. Meetings, luncheons, dinners, prayer groups, board meetings, making time for anybody who might randomly drop by his office to talk about anything, everything . . . even when the days began to hold visits to oncologists, Gilda’s Club, infusion rooms and all the myriad medical appointments attendant on chronic illness, he persisted. In these years, I began to see clearly – with a newly sharpened focus that brevity of time may suddenly bring — his profound ability to savor what was unique and rich in each moment, in each person he met, spoke with. The legendary temper (sliding to irritation or disdain at the milder end) that took such umbrage at certain pet peeves (slackers and taxes came in for special treatment) did not manifest itself when speaking of the cancer. He complained infrequently if at all. I told him often that he was my hero, and I meant it. He almost made it look easy.
Hal made me laugh, me at times a tough audience but I did willingly concede his gift for laughter – both in the giving and receiving. He was not a tough audience and I loved – increasingly over the years — finding new stories calculated to make him laugh, or showing him silly pictures on my iPod Touch as I did a few months ago – presenting to him a photo of a large pig I took last summer and getting his gleeful laugh in return. He was one of those rare persons who can appreciate both silliness and real wit in equal measure: one of the countless gifts that ferried him thru his 66 years.
I have a memory of Hal from many years ago: he was an adult with a young family, visiting in my parents’ home and on that afternoon, putting on his helmet before getting on his motorcycle to leave (he had a bike ever since we were kids in Shreveport). But instead of putting on the helmet in the usual way, he put it on backwards and began making strange sounds and stumbling forward and backwards and crashing into the walls. His daughters were there and one said, in a tone that suggested he frequently did such types of things, “oh, daddy.” He was having so much fun, banging into the walls and I remember standing there, laughing, joyfully surprised by such sheer merriment. This is a very happy memory, and one of the many Hal’s I will miss until I see him again. The best memory? The most emblematic? Maybe not, but there was an innocence and joy there, and those are the rarest of qualities, always worth preserving. This one has made me smile for thirty-plus years.
The many Hals. But he was really just one Hal – sane, wise, loving, ethical, kind, curious, generous, funny, smart, determined, opinionated and supremely passionate about everything he believed in and just as often didn’t believe in. His affinity for and delight in laugher emerged from a seemingly endless well of superlatives: wit, charm, mirth, corniness, whimsy, hilarity and verve — to name just a few of the adjectives that I can summon on this late afternoon in spring, when the fact of his passing stuns and grieves me and I hear his voice in my head as I type this – that so intensely vibrant voice that held such exuberance and love for life that my own life becomes finer and richer in the telling.
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Judy,
Thank you for sharing this great photo and wonderful story about Hal. I’m sorry for your loss. Hal has touched many people in his life more than any of us will ever realize.
Thanks again,
Sarah
I’m sorry for your loss. He was an inspiration to me and my husband; he was the catalyst who helped us make the “big leap” to a new, more satisfying career. I first met Hal when I took one of his classes. Hal met us for coffee to talk to my husband about his dream of renovating houses. Hal even sold us our first investment property, and when my husband was wondering how to install new windows on our new property, Hal volunteered to come over and help - no strings attached. For him to make himself so available to anyone who needed his help, as I understand he did - he was a very busy, giving person. We will sorely miss him.
Chris and Ben Buttriss
Thanks, Judy, for sharing the lovely photo that says so much. My family and I are so, so sorry about Hal’s passing. Our family is praying for your family and our hearts go out to you on the loss of this very special, one-of-a-kind man. His fairness, caring, humor, exhuberance, and great love for his family was apparent to all who came in contact with him. He was so very inspirational to all who met him or came in contact with him. My husband and I found out that Hal had “graduated” to heaven this morning by listening to Dave Ramsey. We live in Lexington, and were often uplifted and inspired by Hal’s blog and his positive, insightful, spiritual words. I would often forward them to my children so that they, too, would be blessed by his words. I advised my brother, who learned last year that he has kidney cancer, to read Hal’s blog because of the spirit of optimism and the brave way he faced the cancer diagnosis. I am deeply moved by your loss, and deeply moved by your tribute to your wonderful brother, and by your certainty that you will see him again in that most wonderful place. God bless Hal’s wife, Dickie, and his whole family as they grieve for him, but are assured of his place in heaven. He has left all of us the better for knowing him.
Connie and Judy Whalen
I vowed not to email when I was tired,but here goes… I just spent about three hours paying tribute to my brother along with alot of other caring loving people.Oh my, to be that honored. Just one thing– Hal was so honest and upfront..He saved my life and He and my sister Judy help give it back. I will always be grateful…Toni wilson
The first thought that came to mind when I heard Hal had gone home was, “God’s going to enjoy having Hal around all the time”.
What a line he created at St. Henry yesterday. Everyone loved Hal and will miss him greatly.
Randy Layne
Oh, Aunt Judy, just when i thought there were no more tears to cry, they have come a flood. Thank you for this marvelous story and post. It is perfect and well said. Dad’s goofiness was hilarious, and oh how I remember being so “embarrassed” as a young girl and teenager at all his silliness and fun-spirit, and many, many…”oh, dad…” (throw in an eye roll or two for good measure).
On the Saturday before Easter when he was briefly home, and laid up in bed and in tremendous pain and discomfort (which is an understatement), my little nephews kept coming in the room, and Little Harry thinks it’s fascinating to turn off and on light switches. He kept doing so in dad’s room, and dad would make these funny noises each time the light or ceiling fan would come on. Harry would laugh and laugh and say, Grandaddy, do it again! Dad was struggling so to make these funny noises for Harry, and yet he did so with such love and silliness, just like when we were children.
What a great father dad became. He and my mom were always the “cool parents” I think in part because they were young parents and because they loved life.
Thank you, Judy, for sharing those great memories. I had forgotten about the goofy dad stuff til i read it…and how i will always cherish those memories and time.
Love,
Christie
Judy, great stories and the picture of Hal Holding the fish is exactly the way I remember him when we first met at Father Ryan High School September 1958. Hal was 14 and I was 13. What a life he lived.
Hal’s work here is an ongoing inspiration, and a testimony to what God can do through any one of us to touch the lives of coutless others. My sincerest condolences, and may you be comforted by the knowledge that Hal is resting safely in the arms of our Savior, and his work continues to bless and inspire.
I met Hal several years ago when the economy was much more vibrant and his goal was to “buy a house a week.” I was a reporter at the time interested in profiling one of Nashville’s most prolific flippers.
I remember at the time of the interview Hal said he was looking to buy a vehicle for his wife. He had a limit as to how much he was willing to spend and would not vary from that amount.
He went to a dealership and offered his price to the salesman. The salesman huffed and puffed that Hal’s offer was almost insultingly too low. Hal’s response was, “It’s ok. I’m in sales too and get told no all the time. Don’t take it personal if you can’t accept my offer.” And with that he left and continued his search. If I measured Hal accurately, I bet he found someone willing to accept his price.
I, like many others, was so thankful to have met him. I eventually made a career change into real estate partly because of his inspiration.
What struck me the most about Hal was his eternal sense of optimism and faith in God. He was, and through those whose lives he touched continues to be, a shining example of faith, optimism, friendship and many other rare qualities.
I give my sincerest, heart-felt condolences to his wife and family. He will be sorley missed.
Dear Judy and other Wilson family members,
My heartfelt condolences on losing Hal. What an inspiration he has been to so many! What a full life he lived! I am grateful for the opportunity to have reconnected with him and know of his love for his family and life in general.
Judy, you may remember me as Brenda Rapp. My mother was Mrs. Marie Rapp and we lived on Shotwell Street when you and Toni were babies. Hal and I played together almost constantly, as there were no boys his age on the block and I preferred his company to another little girl whom my mother baby sat. We made up lots of games and played everyday until we were called home for dinner. (In those days children did not have to be so sheltered and protected from the world as they do now and we had lots of adventures.) Hal started school a year before me and I was forced to play with a girl. When I started school at St. Anne,, Hal was in the second grade and my older sister, Dot was in seventh grade. She reluctantly had to supervise us on the bus ride home. She always had a story to tell my mother about something we did.
I visited with your family during your summers in Shreveport and Hal came back to Memphis to visit with us. Then your family moved to Nashville and we visited more frequently. Your mother and mine were best friends. My mother used to say that Delores Wilson was one of the most intelligent people she knew and one of the funniest. “Nanny Wilson” was also hilarious so I’m sure Hal inherited his wit from both of them. The last time I saw Hal we were both in high school and I came to Nashville on a student council event at Hillsboro High. I don’t remember what I did with the student council but I do remember my nice visit with your family.
When your mother passed away, Hal was kind enough to call my mother and let her know. As they had both gotten older, they stayed in touch mostly by telephone. My mother passed away here in Texas with me in 2007. My sister Dot moved to Franklin in 2003 and she contacted Hal. She lives with her daughter, Marie Newberry and her husband, James, on Ayshire Circle. Please extend my sincere condolences to all the family, especially Dickie and their children.
Good memories last forever!
Brenda Fielder
I just checked Hal’s blog and got the bad news. It is hard to believe he is really gone. I was amazed at how busy he kept for so long and how sick he was, yet he always seemed so full of enthusiasm. I can’t remember how many months it’s been since I saw him last, but part of me thought he was going to overcome his cancer. He sure kept up a fight for a long time, and God has used him in his illness to inspire and encourage so many.
I knew Hal from the REIN and I was so impressed with his kind and generous spirit. I was amazed that someone so busy and successful always had time for a question from someone like me.
I know he’ll be missed by multitudes of people whose lives he touched in a profoundly positive way.